2022 is almost at an end & i have survived. survived is the keyword for me, i think - it was very hectic & often very stressful, both game dev/work-wise & personally.

a photo of a lighthouse with a sunset in the background from a trip i took this year

work-wise i have made a big decision for my future which is to quit my current job at the end of next march, so i can focus solely on game dev & translation starting april 2023. one of the big reasons is that i turned 30 this year & i have been thinking about what i want to be doing when i'm 40, 50 & onwards, & it was very obvious to me that i didn't want to be working at my current job. for the past two years, i've been working in the smartphone game industry, & while i've done a lot of work on a bunch of different titles, i don't feel particularly proud of anything i've worked on - on the contrary, i constantly think about whether what i'm making is actually stuff i want to make. the conclusion i've come to is, no, i don't want my labour to be put into creating games like these, & so, my decision.

it's quite scary for me, since to be very frank, i haven't really released any so-called 'hit' games that would guarantee me enough income that i could feel safe being solely indie. but i feel like it's something i want to try, so i'm going to make the leap. if it doesn't work out, i'll look for another job in the future, but it probably won't be in smartphone games unless there's a big change in the industry. i'd rather try & fail than regret not trying.

in game dev stuff, i've been very busy this year.

on the personal side of things, while i feel like overall it has been good, there has been a lot of stress for me this year. a lot of it was connected to incidents on social media, so i think going forward i will be less public online.

however, i've also had the chance to reach out to people i haven't in a while & new people entirely. i'm also incredibly thankful to my partner who's been so helpful throughout everything & all my friends who've been here for me.

i am also generally happy with my life. for the end of the year i am visiting family i haven't seen in years. my guinea pigs are in good health & so am i, mostly. after making the decision to leave my job, i've also just felt so much lighter overall - i hadn't realised how anxious the job had been making me, but the moment i knew there was an end, suddenly i felt better.

as 2023 approaches, there's a lot of unknowns ahead that i'm worried about - how my life will go when i don't have a job to anchor me, whether social media will continue to spiral terribly, &c. - but i'm fairly hopeful about what's to come & think things will go ok.

looking back at my resolutions from last year, i did pretty badly with my goals to rest more & play more piano, but i did exercise a lot & stop comparing myself to people as much, so i will give myself a pass.

for my resolutions for next year:

thank you to everyone who's supported me this year & i hope we can all have a better 2023.